Self Realization and Marriage


Self realization and marriage do not go hand-in-hand. Swami Vivekananda did not marry only for this reason and so is the case with Maharshi Ramana. Both remained bachelors throughout.

 

On the contrary Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa was a married person, married early in age. So was done on the insistence of his family. But the married life proved a disaster as the goal of life for Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa always was reaching God in his lifetime.

 

After some years of marriage Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa started treating his wife as sister and thereafter mother. His wife was popularly called Ma Sarada or Sarada Devi.

 

Cases like Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa rarely existed in Hinduism. Even Sage Yajnavalkya had two wives. It is an absolute fact of spirituality that it is difficult to reach stage of self realization in married life. But Lord Krishna has an advice. As per Lord Krishna one who could indulge in spirituality even while living in family was the highest Yogi of all.

 

Both Yajnavalkya and Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa fall in this category of highest Yogi of all.

 

Reaching state of self realization demands demolishing our ego in totality, this is to overpower five senses and mind. Control over five senses and mind means detaching self from all attachments forever. One has to cut all family ties so much so that even parents, brothers and sisters become almost strangers in the spiritual journey of life. For a seeker the whole world becomes one large family. Ties of Moha (extreme emotional attachment) have to be cut forever.

 

In absence of Moha, how could a seeker maintain relationship with a wife? Living like a stranger to the wife is living in hell. This never works out.

 

Even a seeker like Swami Vivekananda did not prefer marrying even though he possessed phenomenal willpower.

 

The institution of marriage is definitely detrimental to spiritual progress. Spiritual journey demands 100% dedication to indulgence in contemplation (chintan). Practically there was no time for indulgence in day-to-day affairs of life.

 

For all practical purposes a serious seeker must never indulge in institution of marriage. However if inevitable one must indulge in spirituality as and when time permits! The best part of spirituality is no progress on path of spirituality ever goes waste. At whatever level we shall quit in present life time, we can start from the very same level in next manifestation by our soul atman.

 

At personal level I do not recommend a married person indulging in spirituality to reach state of self realization. Unsolvable problems are bound to crop up in the later stages of life.

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