Around six years of age I developed a deep rooted desire to see and meet God in this very life. Not knowing what God was all about, I kept thinking of God all the time. When I was in class one I was taught honesty is the best policy and one must always remain truthful. I concentrated over the truthfulness part and asked elders in the family what truthfulness really meant. I was not given a satisfactory answer but whenever I thought of truthfulness, a feeling of bliss took over.
I somehow felt from inside that indulging in truth all the time would be something big.
Around 8 to 9 years of age contemplating on God, fear of death took over so much so that for months I could not sleep properly. I repeatedly told my parents that in present life time I did not want to die ever. They just looked at me and kept quite sometimes trying to explain that death was inevitable and when it comes none can delay it.
I was hell-bent on not facing death. Then something from inside fluttered as if trying to tell me there was a route taking which I could permanently escape from cycle of birth and death forever! In the meanwhile I got indulged in stories of Lord Krishna doing rounds in the house. My home in the village had spiritual atmosphere as my grandfather lived as a monk in the family totally aloof from day-to-day affairs of life.
Surprising thing was whenever I had a query for my grandfather he could not reply properly and started my inner journey. Inherently I started indulgence in contemplation (chintan) all the time. Slowly I realized that answers to my queries started coming from within. I was totally perplexed not knowing who it was prompted from within. With passage of time after much discussion with elders in the family and outside I realized there was more to life than manifest physical body.
I was told in plain terms by elders in the family that we had a soul atman existing in our heart that was the master and controller of body. At that young age I did not understand anything about soul atman still I believed in what elders had told me. Contemplating on my soul atman I finally realized that as a human being if I indulged in spirituality detailed in Bhagavad Gita, the sermon given to mankind by Lord Krishna I could absolve self from cycle of birth and death forever.
Knowing more about Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa and Maharshi Ramana I started my spiritual pursuit of life a journey towards self-realization. By 15 years of age I finally told my mother I am going in search of God wholeheartedly. I asked permission from my mother to go to deep dense jungles (forests) in Himalayas for contemplation (chintan) on abstract values of life. She just said, over my dead body. That was the end of it. I finally decided to pursue the journey while remaining in the family.
Contemplation (chintan) on various spiritual issues became my habit so much so that one day I asked my mother for dinner. She looked at me and said it was breakfast time. I had remained immersed in contemplation (chintan) for more than 12 hours in continuation totally unaware of the surroundings. But indulging with God all the time was extremely blissful, full of inner happiness.
I also started my indulgence in self enquiry and Neti (not this, not this) as preached and practiced by Maharshi Ramana. Lying in shavasna pose of yoga when going to bed in night in subconscious state almost daily I used to indulge in Neti and self enquiry. Slowly queries within me started dissolving forever.
I also started dissolving my ego which was minimal from six years of age. I never gave a boost ever to my ego (Aham in Hinduism).
I also started my indulgence in practice of celibacy and also absolute celibacy. Celibacy (absence from sexual indulgence) hardly constituted 10% of total job, 90% celibacy was always practiced mentally. Eradicating flow of negative thoughts to our brain in totality is what absolute celibacy all about. I came to know about absolute celibacy while indulging in chintan (contemplation), reading various texts relating to preceptors like Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa and Maharshi Ramana.
Whatever little I could gather from any source, I became a pupil for that moment.
Every single human being on mother earth became my teacher. I inherently realized that every single human being had something to give may be at times very little.
I did not reject any religion. Every teacher, spiritual preacher was my master. Whatever little I could gather from various preachers, teachers I accepted it wholeheartedly but only after contemplating on the same. Using my willpower, power of discrimination I could easily make a distinction between right and wrong, truth and false. It was as if none in this world could ever cheat me.
Practice of celibacy activated my kundalini. 31 years of indulgence in precepts of spirituality contained in Bhagavad Gita I finally realized self, realized god in the wee hours of third of August 1993 when God Almighty, Brahman in Hinduism gave me Sakshat Darshan and also a lengthy dictation. After reading the entire script I came to know that I was a soul atman on my cosmic sojourn of 8.4 million manifestations and had finally reached the end. Also my kundalini had awakened fully absolutely unknown to me.
On path of pure spirituality there are so many factors that not even 1% of them could ever be catalogued, written. It is extremely difficult to summarize experiences of spiritual path.
I had finally overcome death forever. Having become a pure soul atman, this is my last manifestation on mother earth. The moment I leave my mortal frame, I shall attain moksha salvation, entailing to Vaikuntha (kingdom of god).
With first-hand experience I can definitely say that Bhagavad Gita of Hinduism is one such scripture pursuing which any human being world over belonging to any religion, faith or belief can ceremoniously indulge in teachings of Bhagavad Gita to reach stage of self realization.
What’s more, the entire gist of Bhagavad Gita, 700 shlokas verses in Sanskrit with English transliteration is available for mere $1 from Gita press, Gorakhpur, India but there were no takers. People world over did not want to indulge in contemplation, chintan to reach stage of self realization. Difficult yet not impossible!